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My 2010 Anti-Resolutions

December 29, 2009

It’s time get the year off to a creative start—and make some resolutions you’ll actually keep in the process.

The rules are simple:

  • List ten things you resolve not to do in the upcoming year.
  • Be as creative as possible.

To get thing rolling, here are…

My 2010 New Year’s Anti-Resolutions

  • I will not free up room to take in borders by convincing my kids to sleep in more “convenient” places—like the oven or bathtub.
  • I will not try to spice up the Winter Olympics in my house, by convincing each family member that they were adopted from various cold-weather countries.
  • I will not open job interviews by asking if I should have listed my RockBand Drum skills on my resume.
  • I will not try to push day-glo sombreros as the next fashion trend.
  • I will not hang around the seafood section of the grocery store trying to convince the patrons to throw their “catches” back.
  • I will not attempt to create balance in the universe by making only left hand turns.
  • I will not try to addict my kids to crystal-meth in order to take wagers on who can resist the longest.
  • I will not try use my old boxer shorts as material for a “more interesting” type of quilt.
  • I will not try to become famous by faking an Easter Bunny sighting by supplying a fake pelt as evidence.
  • I will not use the ridiculous number of Slurpees I buy Jeni as justification to initiate a hostile takeover of the nearby convenience store.

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Dale learned his lesson last year, and will ring in THIS new year with every good luck tradition he can scrounge together.
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12 Comments
  1. adampb permalink
    December 31, 2009 5:06 pm

    Rya, that is an awesome list. I loved the first one; it just tickled my fancy somewhat.
    I’ll add an addendum to my list: I will not get jealous of the twilight success, just use it as ammunition to fuel my own plans of world domination.

  2. January 3, 2010 11:05 am

    HEY! I don’t ask for that many Slurpees! You make it sound like I’m some kind of junkie.

    Just so you know…my Slurpee cup is on the kitchen counter waiting to be filled. 😉

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