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Literary Jokes

January 6, 2011

Wikipedia defines a joke as “a short story or ironic depiction of a situation communicated with the intent of being humorous. These jokes will normally have a punchline that will end the sentence to make it humorous. A joke can also be a single phrase or statement that employs sarcasm”. …

Jokes have the tendency to either unite or separate groups of people in an instant. Certainly jokes which contain specific background knowledge or niche interest information can fall flat on an audience who do not share the same base knowledge.

Just for fun, I’d like to share my top two literary jokes. Perhaps you have some literary jokes you’d like to share in the comments?


The short one –

According to Hemingway, why did the chicken cross the road?
Ans: To die, alone, in the rain.


The longer one – ( good old  “a man walks into a bar…..”)

Charles Dickens: Please, sir, I’d like a martini.

Bartender: Sure thing. Olive or twist?


James Joyce: I’ll take a Guinness.

Bartender: So Charles Dickens was in here yesterday.

James Joyce: (drinks)

Bartender: And he asked for a martini and I said, “Olive or twist?”

James Joyce: (drinks)

Bartender: You see, it’s funny because he wrote a book called “Oliver Twist.”

James Joyce: What a shitty joke.


Ernest Hemingway: Gin.

Bartender: So Charles Dickens was in here two days ago.

Ernest Hemingway: Joyce already told me that story. F*ck off.


Mark Twain: Give me a brandy.

Bartender: So Charles Dickens came in the other day and ordered a martini.

Mark Twain: Did he take an olive or twist? Ha ha ha!

Bartender: (tearful) You did that on purpose, didn’t you?


Virginia Woolf: I’ll take your second-best cognac and unadulterated experience.

Bartender: We don’t have that. This is a bar.

Virginia Woolf: Patriarchy! (drowns herself)


Have you ever told a literary joke… and no-one got it?

Hope its lightened your day. Looking forward to reading your comments.

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Annie Evett is still howling with laughter at the comic she has just inserted here……..Follow Annie here on Twitter and catch her growing amount of websites and blogs here
  1. January 7, 2011 9:15 pm

    Anais Nin walks into a bar, says, “Give me a glass of whiskey.”

    Bartender says, “Do you want that straight up?”

    “Yes,” she said, “but describe it for half an hour first.”

  2. January 7, 2011 10:41 pm

    Hahahahaha! Thanks, those were great!

  3. January 9, 2011 2:12 am

    bahhh hhhaaa haaa haaa – classic Tony

  4. January 9, 2011 3:14 am

    I can’t think of anything that even comes close to the Oliver Twist. The best I can offer is this short, which is a great voyage to annoy Charles Dickens with puns:

  5. Tony permalink
    January 28, 2011 6:48 pm

    Paddy, the barman at the Irish Pub heard the one about Charles Dickens being asked if he wanted his martini with an olive or twist. “Oh, sure dat’s a good ome. If he ever comes in here I’ll try it on him.” Sure enough, a day or two later Dicken pops into the Irish Pub and ask for a martini. Paddy says, ‘Certainly sor. Pickwick Papers?

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